This is so hard to admit, but I really feel safe when I'm with my T. I think that is the only place. I feel so unstable right now, I wish I could go sit in his office and find that safe feeling. I can't believe I let myself get so close to him because now I need him, when you need someone - it gives them power to hurt you. I have always managed to keep my guard up for protection. Well, I let my guard down with him and let him in and trusted him and now I'm dependent on him. I hate myself for letting this happen. I feel so alone. Next appt is not until next Friday - more than a whole week. It's like I want him to fix everything so I feel okay. I don't feel okay. I'm scared and broken and I don't know where all these feelings are coming from. I don't know how I'm going to manage to put on my strong face when my kids wake up. I can't bear for them to see me like this. What is happening to me? Before I could function, now I'm falling apart and I don't know how to fix it by myself.