Sunflower, I think it's exciting that you are willing and eager to work on learning a new skill and to me, age isn't a factor. In fact, I think to keep learning throughout life is what it's all about. Even my T, who is retirement age, keeps learning and is excited about learning new things in her field. I think being willing to learn, and not defending a way of being that doesn't work in your life, is a real sign of intelligence and strength and ambition and courage, and gosh so many things! I can relate to what you said about how you react and that assertiveness is too hard right now. I hope that comes easier for you as you learn about why it is so hard for you, what emotions and fears are involved in keeping you from being able to be assertive like you wish to be.

Good luck in your search!