I've only recently come to terms with it. I was first diagnosed bipolar at 13 or 14, I don;t remember how I felt about the d/o. I was on lithium and a tricyclic until 18 when I went away to school and distanced myself from all that. I had definite swings of depression and mania but I never thought that I may really have a mental illness. I knew I had ptsd so I blamed my symptoms on that.

It wasnt until I tried committing suicide that I got hospitalized at 27. I'm 32 now and those last 5 years I went from acceptance to denial repeatedly. I think over the past summer has been my first real period of stability, and since I was off meds I felt like I didnt have bipolar at all. BUT, i think that because I had that period of stability, it makes me realize that what I'm going through at the present moment symptomatic of bipolar disorder.

I think that acceptance of mental illness is a process, just as adapting to life with having these illnesses manifested is a process. It is so much harder that there are no concrete tests that say YES or NO, a person has specifically bipolar, or anxiety, or depression, or schizophrenia.