Neri, many good things have been said here. Play the tape through... Do you REALLY want to use or do you just want to feel better? There's many things that can make you feel better other than using drugs. Go to a meeting, go shopping, go take a walk, take a hot bubble bath, do something for YOU that isn't harming YOU.

As Richard said, if you aren't happy in sobriety, you won't stay sober. Please find that happiness, it's there. Wish you the best on this long road... Just remember, it doesn't have to be a long road. It can be just a day at a time, or even a minute at a time. Stay focused on you.