I think that there is no chance for this relationship. Here are my reasons why.

1. "empathetic sucker that I am"
2. "I don't know that I believe he even had THAT."
3. "I knew there was *something* not right with him.
4. "He's the one who played it, I went along for the ride."
5. The whole paragraph where you say what you think he thinks on marriage.
6. "I was simply confounded by HOW he could mean what he says about just being friends."
7. "Give me a vulnerable man and I am all over it."
8. "I mean we were in a social situation where his *ideal* flashed herself in our faces. He nearly fell apart. I nearly wanted to vomit. What happened to this love between us??? This time I left for a month."
9. "I mean he is SO not for me."
10. "But he’s SO socially defunct that I don’t if it’s really possible."

I failed to see anything positive in this post about this guy. All I see are things that you don't like about him, problems that he has, and reasons why you shouldn't be with him. Then you point out on several occasions where you don't believe what he is telling you. Then you say he is aware of his problems and getting help but don't really believe in his ability to rise above his problems which indicates to me that you don't want to be in a relationship with this man if he doesn't change who he is to fit YOUR ideal. I am sorry I am being so harsh but I don't see any way around it. You don't seem to be the supportive person who accepts this man as he is and you don't seem willing to trust what he says. Nor do you seem willing to see that part that you play in this relationship. It is all placed on his shoulders and you are just along for the ride. This does not mean you are a bad person, this just means that this is a bad relationship for you to be in.
Sincerely,
Zen<font color=blue>

"Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers."--Tennyson