I agree, you have to take care of you or you can't help your family.

I know for myself, low self esteem contributed to me obsessively putting myself last and caretaking helped me avoid my own feelings. Eventually feelings do burst out and become debilitating if we put ourselves last. I am still learning to acknowledge and manage feelings as they arise. It isn't easy and I need a lot of help, but if I get that help, my quality of life is pretty good and I can make better decisions and hold down a job. For me help includes medication, regular evaluations, therapy, and support.

When I'm not getting that help everything falls apart, including me.

Have you seen a psychiatrist recently for a medication evaluation? Sometimes you can't really make good progress in therapy until you get on the right meds. This has been the case for me anyway. If I'm not on the right meds or not on meds at all, I can't even think let alone do therapy that goes anywhere.

If it was me in this situation (and it has been, trust me), I would call my shrink or find a good one and evaluate (or reevaluate) my medication.

Good luck and God bless. I know it feels like it will never get better right now but it will. Just keep doing the next right thing and try to stop beating up on yourself.