Today T had me tell my S.A story like 5 times. And i got to .... know more...it came clearer

MY GOD



IDK i feel i CANNOT stay alone with this right now. I cannot be with the body. The feeling like its happening right now..that

****TRIGGER WARNING*****
He is stepping on my foot and and my ankle hurt so much the blackness and my scream

******

oh well i guess i do not need another time but since i dissociated from it then it is hard to "associate" with it.

I feel something in me does not trust that T really believes me...that i believe myself! T even did not do any relaxation (well i was a little late for session today) but overall. I felt like ****. well **** doesn`t describe it.

How do you stay aware and away RIGHT here RIGHT now...without..well heh - i have a lot of that. This is very complex. The trauma. So there will be more to come for me and,,,,

well

whatever