Wow, good questions Sara1010. Since my father (Retired Army) is the control monster I didn't pay much attention to the husband behavior (unless it got explosive).

Lexicon- I don't know if I should feel this way but it's comforting to hear somone else feels like I do. I'm scared. I know I have to change for many reasons, kids, college (starting 1/9), and just any new relationship that spark.

Funny, I could always cope enough when married to my service memeber but you get to move every three years and everyone you know is an anquaintance. Plus, I guess I identified myself as 'his wife', nothing more.

hmmm, thank you for listening and I'm glad I have an avenue to express things I won't to another human. Oh, thanks for the book link Sara- I don't think I would have realized that information was here.