Getting better requires really understanding yourself, taking inventory of what isn't working now, understanding where it came from (really understanding this by working through what happened to you - feelings and all) and then problem solving today on those things that aren't working. I wish you luck on working through these things........

I'll give you my example. I had low self worth. I understand that my mother didn't pay any attention to me so it follows that I deduced that I wasn't too valuable. Well, I worked through what really happened, that she had major issues and her treatment of me was her problem and it had nothing to do with my value. I let any buried feelings about that come out and mourn and cry and needed. How did this come out in my everyday life? Speaking to people I would feel my low self worth coming out and in that moment I would tell myself where that came from and then why today it isn't true. I was able to change this so that now it doesn't come out anymore when I talk to to people. Working on things in the moment when they are triggered is a good way to rewire stuff.

Fear of intimacy is tied to low self worth (you don't want anyone close enough to see who you really are!), weak boundaries (stay away because I don't know how to protect myself), not being able to meet your needs (stay away because I have a hard enough time meeting your needs over mine), and having stuffed away, unresolved feelings (which cause discomfort and anxiety so stay away because I don't feel good).