Welcome! It's good you made an appointment although it is frustrating how long these places book in advance, it seems to be like that most places though. If things get really bad, does the office have a crisis line or is there one you can call in your area? That has helped me in the past.

I can identify with what you shared. I drifted around the country in my 20's moving from region to region hoping to find something, any sort of change, that would make me feel better. I always felt empty and frequently wanted to stop existing.

Finding stability helped me to get ready to start getting better. It was hard for me to accept help, even as I was seeking it out. I would run from it a lot. Nothing gets better overnight, but little by little I know I'm learning more about myself, understanding myself, and coping with life better.

Just know your not alone.