oh boy did I so much so that I spent so much time pleasing my then roommate - taking care of her children, keeping her children and her safe from her husband, pleasing the kids teachers..... basically doing everything my roommate was supposed to be doing right down to spending my money I was setting aside for a deposit on my own appartment on her snow tires for her car.

I said and did only what "peggy" wanted me to do until I took a handful of pills and landed in the hospital mental health unit. They refused to release me until I had a different place to go. One friend offered me her place for a month or two and another friend gave me the book "the Giving Tree".

I now know I come first and my friends needs second. If they don't like what I say and do thats too bad. They can take what I can offer or they can leave it.

Those that are my true friends accept that and stuck around even after I refused to go above what I could give and try to please them.

The abusers that expected more of what they want instead of what I can offer either left me (which I happily waved goodbye) or I showed them the perverbial door.

Friendships are great but I don't want them at the expense of losing myself and landing in the hospital again.

Amazingly once I started standing up for myself I ended up with an amazing amount of friends because some potential friends were staying away from me because it hurt them to see me be in abusive friendships where I ignored me and took care of pleasing everyone else.