I can understand - I was in the same situation with my husband (who I'm no longer married to) when I was depressed. He started getting impatient and talking down to me, and anything that bothered me turned into me being irrational.

Those who don't understand depression gloss over it like it's something you can control, and you need to "get over it". In other words, some see it as a cop-out for self-pity. What they don't understand they react to, and no - it's not right. And it's not helping.

I think you need to help your husband understand that your depression isn't about him - it's about you and what you need to do to get better, and that this is a very personal thing that doesn't need to be discussed with a third party. I am sure he's speaking to you in these ways because he can't fix what's going on, and somehow feels like he's to blame.

It sucks to feel helpless, and it sucks to watch another person and feel you can't help them. But he needs to know that it doesn't help to be talked to like you're always irrational. You guys really need to talk, and perhaps your T can discuss ways to help him understand and deal with your illness.