Most of my transference comes from my original relationship, with my adoptive mother, we carry these unresolved important milestones with us until we find resolution and because most times its subconsious we act them out completely unaware why we just said that, done that, etc etc, my understanding of what I was doing happened recently, I would walk in to therapy, act adult then suddenly T would say something and I would begin to "attack" her, verbally, this went on and on for 6yrs until a couple of months ago I think, I walked in saying I felt fine had nothing much to say, then suddenly out of the blue my own consious knowledge saw the pattern before It happened and I looked at T and said, ****, I was just about to "do" that thing that I normally do, start of fine then try and pull you into my stuff, and T nodded yes and said I think thats what your mother use to do, things would be fine with her then suddenly out of the blue she would change and begin to attack me. T said I wouldn't feel bad about what you do here because until now its been your own way to communicate your relationship with your adoptive mother, but now its become consious it will be easier to manage.

I find therapy is about these moments, and yes we will have a good idea where the transference is coming from when we see it.