((((((((((((((((Kacey)))))))))))))))))

That sounds really really painful.

I think you need to give yourself some time before you decide what you are going to do about an individual T. Last year I quit therapy with my current T, and eventually I went back to see her. I don't want to go into all the details about the situation because this is about you, but I just want to plant the seed in your head that going back to your T is an option, and it may very well be the right option. Sometimes the only way out is through, and although it is difficult, working through the issues and feelings with your T may be very healing.

I hope that soon the right path for you will be clear.
Big hugs!!!