I'm living with the same situation as your BF, I'm happy for him that he has someone as caring as you in his life.

How far away are the kids? Mine are a 300 mile roundtrip. I miss them everyday. Time does help but nothing erases the pain of not being able to see them each day and feeling like a part of their life.

Can he get into some kind of routine of seeing them? Every other weekend? School vacations? Anything is better than nothing.

His ex-wife sounds as selfish as mine although mine does see the importance of having their father as part of their life. But, there have a few times where because of distance and money that I couldn't make the trip and she accused me of not wanting to see them - she will never make the mistake of saying that again. I'm pretty sure she had plans and was mad that she had to break them.

The situation sucks but I try to make the best of it. I tell the kids (mine are 5 and 7) that it's not the time we're apart that matters, it's the times that we are able to be together that matter. I know that my life simply stops when we're apart and starts again when we're together.

Sometimes I think that because we're just the father that people don't understand the depth of our feelings for our children.

I wish I could help. But, all I can do is share his pain and hope that there is way for him to maintain his relationship with them.

I'm really sorry that he and I both share the same hell and I'm sorry that I have no answers.