Sorry to hear you are struggling so stargazer. You have come to a safe place to share your woes. Welcome to PC.
Hope your weekend is better than what your week has been.
And yes, I still cycle in and out of denial. If I'm honest about it and stopped and looked at when I'm in a denial phase, I'd probably relate it to therapy content. But that is sooo for another day! Anyhoo...

Nice to meet you, and hope you are able to find the support you are looking for.

kp