I seperated from my husband back in August. The marriage was not good- he is an alcoholic with anger issues (to sum it up...). I have been with him for 10.5 years- married 3.5 years. We do not have any children. He is in the Army and will be leaving for 1-2 years in a few months (he has already been away for 9+ months since we got married). He is also in law enforcement. I work from 7am-3 pm every day. He leaves for work around 1pm and doesn't get home until 1am (if he doesn't go out drinking- then he gets home anywhere from 4am to 7am).

Needless to say- I have been very lonely for the past several years. He has cheated on me 3 times in our relationship. Once (for 6 months) before we got married, and twice since then (he claims that the two women in his phone meant nothing- and that their txt messages were just them taking things the wrong way).

Anyway, my issue is that I have since found a man that I fell totally in love with in September. For two months, everything was amazing, but then I starting having fears about the reality of leaving my husband and the logistics of ending my marriage. Ever since those fears crept in, I am having a hard time feeling anything besides guilt, anger, fear, and resentment. When it comes to feeling love- I feel nothing.

While I know my marriage sounds horrible, there have definitely been some good times, and for some reason that is all my mind focuses on. I have pushed my new man away, and am afraid to go back to my husband.

I just want to know: How can I let go? And is it normal to struggle to feel love? I feel numb.....

Am I depressed?

Thank you for your help