I have PTSD and probably dissociative problems. I've seen a therapist. But he said he's helped me as much as he can. Anyway, I was raped by my fiance 3 years ago. Never spoke of it until 2 years ago (was forced to get help by my commander b/c I had nightmares and wasn't sleeping more than 3 hours a night...brokenly.) Oh, it was attempted murder too. I played dead and now I'm here. Well I'm dating someone now. And we slept together a few times. Didn't exactly go well at first. But a month ago I decided I wanted to wait totill we're married to have sex again. Last night we watched a movie. There was a rape scene. I don't remember anything other than a flashback after that. I woke up and my pants and stuff were off and my BF was layin beside me on the couch. I got up to go to the bathroom and realised my pants were off. I thought he'd just gone down on me or something. He'd had sex with me. He said he'd thought I was with it until I'd called up my attacker's name. I told him he was hurting me. He said I'd been pretty limp but he just thought I was really tired and didn't want to wake up all the way or something. I don't know what to think. I mean first off, I know he's a guy, but how can you be that friggin retarded?????? And secondly, for all intensive purposes I've technically been raped twice now...and the second time BECAUSE of the first! What is happening to me? I don't understand. How do I just "go away" like that. And wtf am I supposed to do since my therapist said I can't be helped anymore than what he's done? I mean he did help some. IDK. Thanks.