Hello Vik12,

First of all, let me introduce myself as the daughter of someone who may have been just like you. My dad was a cop, and he was incredibly psychologically abusive. My mom made him leave pretty early on and got a divorce. Well, that was about eight years ago. Since then, I've been dealing with a custody battle . . . well, to be brief, you are SO lucky you do not have kids with this guy.

I suggest you get away from him as soon as possible. It's probably going to be tough - he's in the Army and law enforcement which means most people are going to be on his side. But the only way for you to actually have a life is to be with this other man that you like (I hope I'm not being to blunt here).

It seems like you might be still in love with the guy you fell for, not the alcoholic he is now. You do need to grieve, or you won't be able to move on. And anger, fear, and resentment are totally normal, as far as I'm concerned.

Even though I wasn't the one with my dad, I had (and still kind of have) issues with connecting with other people. I'm still scared that they'll turn into a monster like my dad did. But I think that's just something I, and you, have to work through.

I wish you luck, and please let me know if you need to talk about anything else.