I think I'm better in some ways today--not actively suicidal=good. More psychotic=worse. =/ No voices, but I feel like I am dissolving, my head feels like it is smaller and will spin off.

I did burn myself several times, which seems to have slowed things down...things being the psychosis.

I know you all don't want me to hurt myself, but it doesn't hurt...I feel no pain, so in a way I haven't hurt myself, just my skin =/ I've kept the SI to a minimum, only what I needed to get by without going into complete psychosis tonight...only 4 days until Christmas, hopefully tonight's burnings will be enough to get me through then.

I've looked into the State mental hospital, and am still considering another more local hospital--an hour and a half away. Not sure, will talk to the oncall pdoc in the er when I go, if things keep going downhill like this. =/

I'M OK, at least for tonight, so don't worry about me =)