I have thought a lot about that question. I hate this illness but at the same time, who I am is the result of my illness and my experiences. I don't know what I would be like without my illness.

Would I be a better person? I don't know.
Would life be better? Different for sure, but better? I don't know because I see friends without mental illness struggle hard in ways that I have never struggled with.
Would I be happier? I don't know, but maybe.

I have had this illness for my entire adult life and I am almost 49. I don't know what it means to be normal. At this point I wouldn't want to be free of this illness because I am afraid that even though it is treated it has become a part of my lifestyle. It is an illness but I have routines that are coping mechanisms that have become habits and part of my daily life. Take away the illness but take all my associated memories as well and let me start fresh. Better yet, let me have my adulthood back.