Well, I put this in the general talk because a neighbor of mine, a 38 year old man with a wife and daughter my son's age, dropped dead last week and was buried on Tuesday.

It just never hit me, since I am always so preoccupied with my own inner problems and demons and workings, how precious life is, how much I love my kid and my spouse and how I coud drop dead anytime....I am 56 years old, and all.

When my Mom died last spring, I was expecting it and she was very seriously old and sick, and I was prepared for it. I was shocked at my Dad's death, but well, parents are different.

This neighbor used to walk his 3 dogs every day, past my house, and we would walk our little dog past his house and say hi! and talk dog talk. When I found out that this neighbor passed away, via his daughter who told my son, I was just shocked.

You don't expect a guy who is 38 to pass away and it came as a total shock, not because of anything, but he is kind of on the young side and all.

I just got back from walking the dog, and had to pass his house. My husband had talked to his wife and she is holding out okay. She was a mess at the viewing, as my husband tells it. I couldn't face going, so I stayed home. I get upset and depressed enough as it is.

Anyway, as I battle my demons, my high blood pressure and what not, and fret about my husband not having a job, but looking, I will not take anyone or anything for granted I don't think.

It's taken me a long time to grow up, but there it is and there you have it.