I'm in a rut right now, and so close to christmas. I feel so stuck, and I feel down, lack of energy. I feel like a burden to my bf, I don't work, I basically sit on my behind for all of the day, reading mainly. I started a survivor forum for people who survived abuse, but the site is slow right now and I haven't done much with it in terms of recent updates. I have my other site but that is slow as well cause of the Holidays, I cannot seem to keep myself busy. I read alot, I want to sleep all day, but refuse to even take a nap. I have been writting in my journal again. My eating habits suck, i'm likely if I eat properly during the day. It's almost noon and all I had since I got up was coffee. I even skipped out on my lightbox, on purpose, plus the alarm I use on my cell phone was not on because my phone was charging.

Just feel.... stuck, no confidence in terms of jobs, especially with the interviews. I feel like a jack@$$ lying to the interviewer about my education, cause i'm lacking it, I told them I have grade 12 which I don't... Then the questions start as to why I haven't decided to go to college etc... and then I look like a retard stuttering my words, i'm sure they can see the lack of confidence.