So, so, so sorry you have to go thru this! It's painful and unfair and you don't deserve to be treated badly by the one person you should be able to count on. I have been through so much of what you are dealing with now; I've failed at marriage before and my husband can be so incredibly insensitive and I spent a long time feeling responsible, like somehow I deserved it. We've been together 14 years, so I hope some of the realizations I've made will help you get through this..

First - mine's not one to say he's sorry, either. For years, I would crumble every time he got angry. My T didn't think it was the best approach, but I finally answered the last temper tantrum by standing my ground and getting angry right back. It was a wake-up for both of us. Things are slowly (very slowly) improving. If I didn't see improvement, I would have to move on for certain.

The thing is, your husband failed to prepare, wasted time on a video game and missed his bus (not your fault). He doesn't have the patience to wait a mere 30 minutes for the next one (not your fault). He expects you to accommodate him by driving him, and dumping it on you at the last minute without any preparation (not your fault). It isn't an emergency, it's a child who (at that moment) doesn't give a rat's ***** about your feelings if it means he has to wait any longer to get the new toy (not your fault).

One of the things I've learned recently (and still trying to apply to my life) is that I can't make him do what I want - he has to choose it. I can tell him what I hope for, but I also need to know where to draw the line. As much as it will tear me apart, if he intentionally crosses the line and stays there, I have to decide if I can accept it.

So...I really hope this doesn't sound harsh, because I don't mean it that way at all..if he makes you cry when you're together and the thought of separating makes you cry also, maybe you should try a trial separation and let him figure out what he wants to do. If he's anything like my husband, he feels guilty for the crying, but is also using it as an excuse not to face the reality that a good relationship takes a lot of effort.

As long as I'm writing a book , one more thing..if he starts an argument that is a recurring one, try to bite your tongue and not respond in any way. Eventually he'll quit; it's hard to argue with someone who's not arguing back.

TONS of hugs, and I hope you find the happiness you deserve no matter what you choose.