Been there and done it, have the tee shirt and the dvd too. I went to my solicitor first of all and cited the reason why I was wanting to end my marriage, i.e., the mental abuse he was putting me thru. I personally didnt want anything for my self but I wanted to make sure that my children were provided for and that he got to see them on a regular basis. every other weekend and every other school holidays and christmas. This was all given to him the day I left and i told him the night before why i was going. It was awful, but its then that I realised that I am actually a strong person and deserve to have a decent happy life.............. good luck and my thoughts are with you.