Well then it sounds like you have some gut suspicions already. Can you think of times you may have had symptoms that you didn't get checked out? I find it hard to believe that it could stay dormant with no symptoms for over 3 years without it being from him....but that's just my thought. Also, he can transfer it to you without him having an outbreak. So even if you didn't see visual signs, it could still be transmitted.

I hope you two can somehow have an open conversation about everything. I know it sucks to know someone is lying to your face and they still wont tell you. Even when you know exactly what's going on and they STILL lie.....that's the worst. I hope you can get something out of him bc that is definitely not normal. Not to mention the fact that you have children together. You can pass STDs on to your children through natural birth or just passing blood from you to the fetus. And if this was going on while you were pregnant, or if you were to become pregnant again, it could have affects on your children.

P.S. I'm glad to see you around again.