Well, I don't know the extent of your circumstances, but my observation is that the more you do behind his back now, the more angry the divorce recipient gets at the surprise. I think it would be a good idea to mention this to your therapist, if you haven't already, to find ways to break the news gently over time so that he isn't suprised.

One common complaint from single moms post-divorce is that they never get as much child support and involvement from the father as they feel entitled to. I won't go into my personal opinions about that (because my opinion is VERY unpopular among single moms!) but if I were in that situation, I'd want to do everything in my power to expect to be completely self-sufficient instead of relying upon child support and/or alimony. The financial expectations cause a lot of heartache and are painfully apparent to the children, no matter how good of an actor you are. Therefore, in the ideal world, you would expect nothing but be happy when you get what you've agreed to. Easier said than done, though. I know it's not fair, but nothing is, and I think that most single dads feel pretty wronged, themselves.