Here I go...

I'm very paranoid and always think people are gonna hurt me. I've been suicidal for almost a year, but have hated myself since I was six years old. I was always quiet. I have irrational fears alot. (Delusions almost) and when I meet someone, even if it's the first time, I obsess over them. I want them to spend more time than possible with me. Then they say one thing that sounds A LITTLE BIT negative about me, and I hate them to the core.
I say things to make people hate me, because I think I desevre it.
I broke up with my boyfriend because I thought he might be mad at me, but he wasn't. We've been over for two months and I can't stop checking up on him and still acting like we;re together.

EDIT: Also, I don't really know who I am. I have rapid mood swings. I feel like I'm broken to pieces and whichever floats to the top I have to be. I have even been confused about my sexuality and gender.