my boyfriend of 6 months and i had a very intense romantic beginning. and then of course reality set in. he wasnt so long out of a 10 year relationship (less than a year). at some point i saw signs of him not being over it - photos of her still up in his house, the way he would talk about her, etc. and he told me during the holidays he wanted to spend thanksgiving with her and her kids, of course he retracted this after seeing my reaction. at that point i told him hey i've been through it so i understand but im backing off. we'd planned a trip together before that and though i had mixed feelings bout going, i wanted to. the night before we left the country, the ex showed up and was so surprised i was there she threw a tantrum. i'm going to assume she didn't know about me. i told my bf that i shouldn't go on this trip, but i really want to go on vacation and we can talk afterwards. let's just go have fun. and i was able to, but during the trip, i really backed off a lot. to a point that hurt him. so we finally talked and i said i don't want to be in a relationship with someone who isn't available. and you aren't. so i broke up with him and left to go home early. he freaked out and was kissing my *** for a few weeks. i said ok i would like to keep it open, and i just need some space to deal with my life and figure some things out too. and i was being kind of cold and overwhelmed by his need to convince me otherwise. i finally gave in probably right before he was ready to give up. now he is what feels like having his revenge. but i don't know if that's what it is, or if he just doesn't want to do this anymore. like my coldness made him back off so much he finally got what he was trying for and now doesn't know if he wants it. i'm not sure what the best way is to behave towards him. my kneejerk reaction is to say forget it! and run out. but i really want to try it out if i we can get to a cleaner slate. i just didnt' believe that he was over his ex even though he was saying he was. and i wanted to save myself the heartbreak...