Hi to anyone who takes the time to read this.

I just need to talk. It's been nearly a year since I have been on this site but I always keep track of posts etc.

Until just recently I was happily working in a job I adored, had risen to the top rank of my profession and was finally got onto a medication regime that suited me (it took about 3 years!!)

Within one week (just before Christmas) I was retrenched without the correct entitlements (which I'm fighting for), my husband announced he thought he was bi or gay and I didn't have a cent for Christmas.

Now I'm facing going to court to try to resolve the issue about my entitlements and I'm trying to get a job - with numerous applications for jobs only to be told I'm over qualified! I can't seem to get a break.

I have accepted my husband's preference, although I'm sad because we've been married for a long time. We are still friends but purely pluotonic now, living together for the sake of family and friends to avoid losing them.

I certainly don't have anything against bi or gay males and now I have taken a lover because I was so, so lonely and felt so worthless that no one wanted me - not my employer or my husband. My husband knows about this and supports my decision as I respect his choice.

Now my guy has had to go away and I haven't heard from him for over a week which is very unusual - he usually texts three to four times a day. I'm so worried that he will not want me anymore when he returns and I'm worried about how he is coping (as he had received terrible news). I check my phone and emails every day but nothing.

I'm feeling so down and despondent - I can't get a job and I've gone from the elation of having someone who loves me and makes me feel desirable and wanted to not knowing if he'll want me when he is back.

And now I wonder if I should send him a email or just wait?

What should I do and how do I cope with all that has been happening?