That sure sounds like abuse to me. I don't think any of this was your fault at all. It was up to your mother to stay, not up to you. You didn't have to make everything ok just so she'd stay, that's just what you were led to believe.

My mom was a very cold person (emotionally). She didn't show them at all or even help us with our emotional distress. It was really terrible. We weren't applauded for our efferts and never knew how she felt. We really had to guess at that one. Mom was always buying us stuff, though. Never an emotion came from her, but the gifts did. I guess that's the only way she knew how to express herself...with gifts.

If your parents weren't to blame, who was? Who was the adult in the situation? You were just a kid! That's the same mentality that many abusers use. Oh, she asked me to, so I did it. It's like they can't be responsible for their own actions! Let your parents be responsible for themselves!