you know last night he came home and was so sweet and so nice....the man I met originally. the man i thought i was going to marry. we went out to see friends and my parents and had dinner - he was Mr Nice Guy.

And he asked me not to take my meds right away so we could just lay in bed together and cuddle. so i didn't. and wouldn't you know he fell asleep in about 10 minutes. so i stayed up watching Gone With the Wind. I waited for a while to take my meds but i was so jumpy and anxious i just had to - came back in and 10 minutes later he rolled over and asked me to turn off the tv bc it was disturbing him. So i did and came in the other room.

At 4am I woke up for some reason I waske up at 4am every day with a panic attack - and i decided to make a list
(without seeing ony of the previous posts by the way)
Of everything he's done to upset me in the last few weeks.
Trying to put them in the "When you do this it makes me feel like this' statements i learned in a group therapy a few years ago

Then fell back to sleep.

this morning he told me i don't seem myself.
that I don't look at him the way i used to

And in my head i'm thinking, this is a good segue into the whole list and what i want to talk about

so i said,well, things haven't been so good between us lately.

And he says well they can never go back, so it's too late.
i told him things never go back to how they used to be but they can move forward to a better place...but in his head the conversation was done. He's gone now - he said he had stuff to do and left.

I want to give him the list today but I'm scared of what it will bring.

PT52 - i do exactly what you said - i just say ok, and yes when we argue. It's easier. he HAS to be right.