Hmmmmmm... I'm probably wrong here, but I get the impression that no one here will be able to say anything that will be of any value to you. I dunno. That's just what popped into my head.

I DO hear the frustration, rage, futility and loathing in your thoughts and words. I hear someone that wants to let everyone know you're a real live person with wants and desires and needs. I hear a person that wants someone to love you and be loved by you in return.

Oh yes, you sound negative and angry and all that kinda stuff too, but that isn't really you, is it. Not really. You just sound that way because it's how you feel and is the only way you know to get people to hear you. Actually, I think you're scared stiff right now. You're frightened of being alone for the rest of your life but really don't know what to do about it. If this sounds like a lot of fluffy BS, oh well. Forgive me, but I think what I just said about you is true. Yeah, I can already hear you denying that anything I've said here might be true. That doesn't matter to me. I don't have to wear your pain. You do. I wonder though, I wonder if you are enjoying your pain. I don't know. That was just a passing thought I had. Some people wear their pain like a badge of honor. Naw, that isn't you. Never mind.

Anyway...

I'm not going to tell you that you have "issues". Heck, there isn't a person alive that doesn't have things in their life that they wish would work better. It's the human condition!

I think the question you might want to be asking yourself is "Ok, I KNOW about all of the things that I don't like about my life. I KNOW about all the crappy stuff, but what the heck what am I going to do to make those things better"? That's a tough question to answer. But, as cliche as it may sound, you're the only person that can answer that question.

Obviously, standing on a street corner telling everyone how miserable your life is isn't working for you.

I'm not going to insult your intelligence by spewing any platitudes or by telling you what a swell guy you are. I don't need to tell you that kind of baloney.

You know what's in your heart. You're also very familiar with that voice inside you head that tells you all those crappy things about yourself. You've gotten used to listening to THAT voice instead of the quiet little voice you have that tells you all of the good things about who you are.

Anyway, this is getting a bit touchy-feely so I think I'll stop here.

I just wanted you to know that I hear what you are saying. There is nothing I can do to help you though. All I can do is listen to you, attempt to understand some of the things that you aren't saying and acknowledge you as a fellow human being.

I wish you clearness of thought and the courage to follow your own heart.

Whew! I've gotten a little too long-winded in my old age. Sorry 'bout that!

Dan