Well fist things first good for you for describing the problem so well, You seem to have broken them down into 3 separate issues and that's a good start.

Job - It's important to not use overgeneralizing statements like "I'll never get a job" because in reality, that's not really true, you will but it may take some time. You can counteract those by just modifying what your saying "It sure is taking a while for me to get a job, but i know there is something out there i just have to be patient". Thinking positively and challenging your negative staements will help Alot with being able to cope.

Marriage - Here is another area where you say something along the lines of "Even he doesn't want me". I would encourage you to not internalize this aspect. He can no more control wether he is gay or straight then you can control your eye color. If you believe that too, then you know it has absolutely nothing to do with you, or him not wanting or loving you. In order to cope i would recommend making that distinction between your feelings vs the truth of the situation.

Lover - If he's dealing with something in his life right now you can try to be supportive instead of internalizing the situation. He may need your support, i would definitely send a an e-mail...but one of support (i hope your ok, i miss you) and that might end up making you feel better. Try not to take his actions as a sign that he "doesn't want you"...realistically his crisis has nothing to do with his feelings for you, so don't take those negative thoughts, write them down..and challenge them...replace them with more realistic thoughts...and that will lead to coping.

Just a final note, the world beats us down enough we certainly don't need it to be coming from ourselves as well.