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Yup - kids can be a feisty handfull. From the moment of conception until the day you die, there will be beautiful/loving moments - and many moments of sheer hell (worry, fatigue, etc.)
This hold true for each phase in life (infant, toddler, child, preteen, teen, preadult, adult, grandpa - if you're lucky enough to still to be around to be here).
Your child needs to know that he can trust your word and trust your heart to be there for him in the beautiful times and in the horrible times. He also needs to know how far he can push you before you say "that's enough - go to HELL." They need to know you still like them, even when they're driving you nuts and spitting in your face.
When my son was 2, I saw him reach for the stovetop burner out of the corner of my eye as I was washing dishes. I told him NO - that is very HOT. He paused, but then I saw him inching his finger back towards that burner. He touched that flame and pulled his finger back FAST. My response to him was "I told you it was hot." He learned how to trust me.
When my son was 8, I told him he couldn't go somewhere he really wanted to go because he was being too sarcastic with me. He flipped his lid and started throwing things. When he threw a container of Ajax at my wall, it busted open and there was cleanser everywhere. When he was finished with his rant, I told him to grab a rag and clean up his mess. He didn't get every nook and cranny, but he did a pretty good job. It was a little harder for him to explain what happened when his father came home. My son learned how far he could push me.
When my son was 18, he butted heads with his father and threw a garbage can. We told him to leave - until he learns how to follow house rules. He took off on foot and walked for miles. He came back a few days later - realizing he might need a little more time before he can be his own man and make his own rules.
Try your best to stick with your kids through the hills and valleys in life. The reward will come when you're an old lady, and the kids/grandkids give you a hug and say "thanks for being there for me - even when you weren't."
It's not about punishment, reward, or control. It's about learning how to live and be responsible for our actions.
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