Okay. This is her response. I feel sick. I am terrified to talk with her about this. I have to admit that the sexual thing is part of my issue. Geez!! How do you tell your therapist that part? I don't have any idea why I have those kinds of feelings toward her.

Am I alone in this? Am I some weirdo pervert?

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Squiggle,

I am trying to understand exactly what feelings you are having related to our relationship. I need to know if they are developing into a serious attachment, if they are developing into a dependency, or if they are becoming sexual in nature. No, I am not creeped out or disgusted by your revelations.

No I will not abandon you or "drop" you as a client. If you are having difficulty sorting through your feelings and you are confused then this can be a good thing. I believe it means you are actually allowing yourself to open up some and experience emotions.

The fact that they confuse you means you have suppressed your feelings for so long that it is difficult for you to know exactly what you feel. We do need to explore exactly what you are feelings to ensure you work through them in a healthy way.

You have to keep in mind that relationships are the one thing you have struggled with along with your perception of yourself. I truly believe you long to have a close relationship with, not only others, but with yourself.

It sounds like either projection or transference. I have not decided which. Projection is a defense mechanism where ones unacceptable behavior or thoughts are attributed to someone else.

Transference is where the client projects powerful attitudes and emotions onto the therapist. It may be a little of both. We definitely need to explore this on Monday in order to understand it and help you continue to make progress in therapy.

The part you are responsible for is being honest in person and ask for what you need. You have "tip-toed" around this issue and expected me to "pounce" on it and "force" you to look at it. You need to take responsibility for this issue and face it in the therapy session.

If you are angry right now that is fine. You have been struggling with this for weeks now. I wonder how much better you would feel if you allowed yourself to honestly work on this in the therapy session.

I am not here to judge you or condemn you. My job is to help you work through the issues that are making your life unmanageable. This may sound like a reprimand, but it is not.

You need to ask yourself if you are expecting me to "make" you address issues that are important? Are you avoiding these issues in therapy because you do not want to face the feelings, take responsibility for shining the light on them, both of these, or neither of these.

It is quite common for a client to not bring up a subject because they do not want to take responsibility for causing themselves pain. It is avoidance.

Again, this is NOT a condemnation in any way. These are things for you to explore.

Therapist