((((((Squiggle))))))
Your T really gave you a detailed response! That's kind of amazing to me. She sounds very dedicated to you and your work together!
Don't panic! You just worked out that R.E.B.T. which I've never seen before, and it was great!!! Can you look at it again and calm yourself down?
You're not a weirdo.
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I have to admit that the sexual thing is part of my issue. Geez!! How do you tell your therapist that part? I don't have any idea why I have those kinds of feelings toward her.
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I've had and still have those kinds of feelings/reactions to my various Ts. Years ago, I told my first T and she said my feelings were sensual, not sexual. She said my feelings get sexualized. My current T and I decided I have my wires crossed somehow. I still don't understand and have a lot of questions about the subject.
How do you tell a T? With difficulty! I asked if it was TMI and they all said "no". Actually, one T thought what I told another one was TMI but she was the only one who thought that, and she was WRONG. Nothing is TMI when you're in therapy!!
You could be having those feelings because of the intimacy of therapy, and not because of anything more. I know it will be hard to talk about, really hard, but you've already paved the way by being honest with your T. She's already said she's not going to judge you or anything like that. Put a pillow over your face, or the blanket, or something, if you have to!! Ts are used to talking about this subject just the same as any other subject.