I have an eating disorder. Truth be told, as a child I only ever got one meal a day and except for pregnancy that has mostly followed me in adult life. My weight is stable, which I find fascinating. But, I eat usually a bananna 2-3 times a day. That's it. Sometimes I will have brown rice or oatmeal. I have horrid IBS. I do nibble on veggies now and again.

I started speaking with T about it and truth is, I don't want to. It's a power thing. I feel like i have some control. Twisted thinking. I think I gave up SI and started this seriously. I don't have any desire to change it. I am not worried about my health, I usually drink tons of water. I sneak a sweat now and again. Rarely as I pay for it big time later. So, that's my truth. The good part is that I am a very cheap keeper and can live on $10.00 of food a week. Wish the rest of the family would catch on. Just kidding.

Thought maybe putting it in writing would help me to look at it in different ways. It's been a year and a half.