(((( HUGS )))))

So much pain is pouring through your post. I am so sorry that your T stood you up. That must elicit so much within you. I know it would cause a lot of extremely difficult emotions for me.

I know that I would want to run from this, lick my wounds and shut down. But I know that my T would encourage me to address it head on, tell him how I'm feeling and what I'm going through. So, although the urge may be to take a break, taking a break from reaching out for the support you need is something I'd try to reconsider. You're hurting, and it's hard.

Please use PC as much as you need to, get the feelings out. You have support here.