I agree with Blue. Since I was in hs, I would go through times where I didn't want to live, and other times where I felt like I was at the top of the world. When I moved to uni, it got worse and for a year I started to lose it and ended up hospitalized. Talking to a pdoc who will listen to you about your concerns and, when ready, having a T is the best thing that can happen.

I'm only getting to the point where I think I'm willing to talk to a therapist. I hope you get there.<333333