I'm sorry your experiencing this grief in your life. It's sad that everybody has to experience this way in there life.
I know how you feel, after my grandmother passed away, alot of anger and resentment arouse. I think it was because I felt abondened. I'm not exactly sure why you feel this way, but I can assure you that these feelings are not bad, they are normal.
It's good to express yourself, and get these feelings out. One can be imprisoned in thier sadness, and you've made an extra step by allowing yourself to release. It's the healthy thing to do, when it comes to mourning.
I really hope you feel better, I'll keep you in my thoughts.
Don't feel guilty, okay.
Desirae