I don't know how to answer you other than share my story. When my husband left me for another woman I became very depressed. I ended up being hospitalized and he came to visit every few days. The psychiatrist talked with him and said that he was giving me mixed signals and he should not be involved with my care in the hospital. At first I was upset about it but then I started to realized that every time he came it bothered me and my mood dropped. Over time we have stopped communicating. He is still friends with my sister and her husband (they introduced us) and sometimes stays with them. They never tell me until he has left and often don't mention it for a long time. I know that if I knew in advance I would ruminate over it and it would cause stress. The one good thing I can see with them telling you in advance is that you can choose to stay away from him.

The last time I talked to my sister about him she said that he told them he had left me because I "read and watched TV too much". I say he was really reaching for something so that it could be my fault. LOL