I really did feel crazy.

After another restless, sleepless, night, I woke up angry and sad and mad and it felt like it was taking over my whole body. I wanted to drive my car into a sign, into a tree, something to show for everything I felt. I went home and trashed my apartment. I threw books, ripped books and journals, threw flowers in vases, put a hole in my wall with a frame. My friend came over, pushed aside the lamp, cushion, and various books and papers to get in my house. She found me with my hand pouring blood from where I'd punched and hit a glass frame. I screamed at her that I was 'not safe' and she just sat there with me. I felt so numb after it was all over. I went crazy and it scared the **** out of me. I've thrown things before when I'm mad or sad, but never to the extent that I did this weekend. I've never had those same feelings that just took over me.

Does this happen to people? Could it be the switch in meds from Paxil to Lamictal? Could it be that the trauma therapy I'm going through right now is just too much?

What do I do if this happens again? I'm scared.

(dx'd Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Mood Disorder NOS)