I am wondering if perhaps it is because I have been trying to hide/block it from people that after an incident with a friend where I ended up bringing it up, my mind blocked it from ME? I used to be very honest about it, because it was 'new' to me, I didn't understand what had happened over the years, so it wasn't as big a deal as it is to me now. But as I learned and understood more, I began to hide it, I never talk about my PTSD to people, even if there is something that majorly triggers me, and it causes misunderstanding or awkwardness with friends, I still keep it to myself, I don't say much more than 'unless you know everything about me, you know nothing, you don't have to know what the issue is, you just have to know there is one'. I can't talk about it with people, I feel awkward just saying 'I have PTSD' to someone.
A few weeks ago I blurted some stuff out and burst into tears after a heated misunderstanding with a friend who couldn't pick up on the fact I obviously have issues with certain things. I admitted the next day to him I have PTSD. This was around the same time I had this mental blank (I think was a few days after, but I had known this conversation was coming for a while). So perhaps I've become so determined to hide it that I subconsciously did it to myself?
I know I'm not over it, I don't feel this is a resolution with my past or acceptance. I think it's just gone blank, where I can still remember things, but my mind won't use the effort to think the detail I've always been able to.