((((((((((((Deli)))))))))))

My Friend.

I've missed seeing you around. I am happy to hear that you are working with Pdoc and Austin-T still. I'm sorry you are not able to get in touch with them, but I am glad that you reached out here.

About you living at your parent's house. Could you take the dog(s) to your place and take care of them there so that you are not re-triggered by being there? Do you have any friends who could come over and sleep at the house with you so that you wouldn't be alone? I'm worried about you staying there. If you say that you are going to be fine, I will believe you, but just know that my thoughts are there with you.

As to taking to this friend, if I remember right, when you were hanging out with him before he seemed sensitive to your issues, like he kind of knew what was going on even without you telling him. Did I remember that right? If so, then the information you were sharing would not be all new to him.

I think you need to figure out what your motives are for telling him. Is it that you want to be closer to him and believe that he will understand, is it because you think that he wont leave you if you tell him, or that he will leave you. Are you wanting to try out Austin-Ts and Pdocs advice that sharing the information wont be as bad as you think and he seems like a good person to try with? There are so many reasons, and it doesn't have to be just one reason.

The other thing to think about is, what would be his possible reactions. Are you ready to received any of the reactions that he might have. If he shows concern for you, are you ready for that? If he rejects you, are you ready for that? All of these things are part of deciding whether to tell him.

It sounds like you are ready to tell someone besides Austin-T and Pdoc and it is pushing at you. Is this the case? If so, you might feel like your time line is fast. If not, maybe you can hang out this weekend and see how it goes schedule another time to hang out (it sounds like the girlfriend is going to be gone in a month), talk to Pdoc and Austin-T and then make a decision after that.

Remember that you can't take back anything you have said, but you can always put off telling something until you are sure about it.

Please take gentle care of yourself. I care about you so much.