I'd agree that it's probably them trying to deflect attention away from their own problems... my mom always does that, well so does the rest of my family. it's hard, no question about that, but another thingis that often people take it to this extent because we let them. I'm not saying at all it's your own fault, b/c I try to be there for everyone else too, but if you're always tryign to be the good one & help everyone out, they will take it for granted and they will stomp all over you... leaving you twice as exhausted b/c you gave all that you had AND they made you feel worse in the end. at the end of the day, they won't look after your needs or wants... only you can do that, I guess that's the hard lesson.