I'm sorry you are struggling so much right now. Try to hang in there. We are all here for you when you need someone to listen and to give advice.

Please post as often as you need to, and if you're afraid of triggering anyone you can always put the trigger icon on your post or put *TRIGGER* in the heading of your post. I don't get triggered too easily and even if I am triggered, I put that aside just to help others out. That's what I do...ignore myself just to console, help, and sympathize with others.

Take care and be kind to yourself.