I am so sorry you are going thru this terrible time with your wife. 30 yrs is a long time to have to give up but not sure I could endure it either. May I ask how old your wife is? Maybe she needs to be on some kind of medication herself. Maybe before deciding on the D word maybe try some counseling? Maybe she is not feeling too much like a woman anymore with having gone thru menopause. Just an idea. Good luck in whatever you decide