I think it was very smart that you wrote the email, saved it and then came back to it. Hopefully that will help to clarify how you feel. The nice thing about email is she can read it when she's ready.

I also think worrying and or crying is ok, maybe you need the release. I cried yesterday because one of my friends IRL wasn't answering my texts... turned out he forgot his phone at home. I guess what I'm saying is I know how important that support is. hopefully everything will work out soon for the best.