okay I have benn thinking of killing myself for some time now. And I have finally got up te nerve to tell my husband about it and he goes off stating that if I was to ever do such a thing like that angain he would leave.I have always felt so comfortable in the fact I could tell him all the things that were going on inside in my head but now I feel alone.And when they find out you have even thought such thing they want to question you? Why do you do this or want to think these things?ALL I CAN TELL THEM IS I DON'T KNOW!!
The last time I had tried to kill myself my husband keept telling me you have three beautiful children and wonderful family to live for.I know this they are the main reason that I am here .My children mean more to me than anything eles on this world and they are the main reason I keep struggling on.
As you can see I have gotten proggressively worse. I can not stand for my own husband to touch me sexually.I feel distugsted by the thought of it and want to cry every time he trys. He doesn't know about how I feel becuase I am so scared to tell him.I don't know how to tell him that I really don't want to be with him in that way any more.( or at least for awhile_)he drinks and I can smell the whisky on his breath and it makes me feel like he is just using me for some cheap thrill.
sorry this was so long